Moronic

I am moronic - a lover of oxymora (official plural of oxymoron, according to Webster), those cuddly conjunctions of contradictions. I categorize them under a number headings: firstly the straight opposites, like science fiction, or living dead, which are usually, well, pretty ugly! Then there are the digs - most famously military intelligence, but also country music, airline food, and most nouns paired with political (e.g. political leadership). Then there are those we use everyday without even realizing they are oxymoronic (also in Webster's): boneless ribs, books on tape, standard deviation, strangely familiar, recreate, and ill health. All these can be found on the website that claims the largest collection of oxymora, www.oxymoronlist.com. (Then there are the 3-way oxymora - I know of two: Holy Roman Empire (which was none of those things) and Permanent Guest Host (a title once given to Jay Leno when substituting for Johnny Carson).

The most interesting oxymora are those that are not obvious, but when pointed out, get you thinking. Try religious truth, for example. Surely, if something is true, then it's simply true - no adjective required! How about necessary evil - can there be such a thing (cf. holy war)? My favorite, because I thought of it and I have not seen anyone else point this out, is natural selection. The phrase is Darwin's, and I almost think he chose an oxymoron on purpose. "Selection" is a human activity, something that we do when we have a choice to make, something that's conscious. Nature cannot herself select anything, but She acts as if selecting, as if evolutionary changes were somehow chosen by Her. The phrase nicely emphasizes that Nature can do what would seem to be purposive, deliberate, what would seem to need intelligence, and design, simply by a "dumb" process. It's an awfully good phrase!