Defunitions

Let's start with something hopefully amusing - some defunitions:

automobile
shapes hanging over a crib that automatically play music when your child looks at them

bestiality
the quality of work you might expect from someone who says: "I did my best"

blind date
someone you have to read the menu to

heterogeneous
a brilliant - and straight - mind

honeymoon
what occurs when your ufortunate wife enters the bedroom at the exact moment you are removing your underpants

jugular
shaped like a jug

petulance
what dogs have when they fart continually

scandal
footwear that shockingly leaves the foot almost completely naked

succumb
male reproductive fluid emitted at the climax of oral intercourse.